The rise in polyamorous relationships

A 2019 study presented at the Society for the Scientific Study of Sexuality found that 89% of people have at least considered a non-monogamous relationship, but that doesn't mean they act on the desire.

Is monogamy over? Not by a long shot, but Gen Z and Millennials are far more interested in open relationships than previous generations. Whether it is due to multiple monogamous relationship failures, the boredom brought on by the pandemic or just plain curiosity, polyamorous or ethically non-monogamous (ENM) relationships are growing in acceptance.

While gay couples have embraced “open relationships” for decades, they tend to focus more on sex. Polyamory instead focuses on multiple intimate partnerships – more emotional in nature, in addition to sex.

The definition of polyamorous or ENM relationships is up for interpretation and can range from mere casual dating, friends with benefits to simply acting on an occasional attraction and being OK with it. The key appears to be a mutual understanding or establishing “ground rules” so that no one gets hurt, or at the very least is caught by surprise.

The trend has caught on so much in fact, that dating app, Hinge, recently added a question allowing users to define their relationship type preference whether that be “monogamous,” “non-monogamous” or “figuring out my relationship type.”

But while this new take on relationships is growing in acceptance, “research and public opinion polls suggest that attitudes toward consensual non-monogamy are mostly negative overall, although they appear to have trended more positive in recent years,” says Dr Justin Lehmiller, Kinsey Institute research fellow and host of the Sex and Psychology Podcast.

Whether polyamory continues to catch on remains to be seen, but for the curious at heart, there have never been more resources including books, podcasts and even a #ployamory hashtag on social, to learn more and more, not to mention finding like-minded individuals willing to experiment.

Are you polyamorous?

These four questions can provide some insight…

1. You have commitment issues – Does the idea of committing to one person seem overwhelming? While this could be a sign that you’re in the wrong relationship, if it continues with different partners, you may be inching toward polyamory.

2. You feel trapped in monogamous relationships – Society dictates that a monogamous relationship is the norm, but that might feel claustrophobic to some. There are alternatives.

3. You have multiple crushes or romantic interests – Many polyamorous people feel they have an infinite amount of love to give others and often have trouble choosing between them. Plural love may be the answer.

4. You’re OK sharing your partner with others – It can feel exciting, liberating or even cause jealousy. These feelings may lead to the acceptance of an open relationship.